sábado, 1 de septiembre de 2012

OMISIONES IMPERDONABLES

Armando Fuentes Aguirre (‘Caton’). Escritor y periodista mexicano, célebre por su sentido del humor.


«Me propongo demandar a la revista Fortune, pues me hizo víctima de una omisión inexplicable. Resulta que publicó la lista de los hombres más ricos del planeta, y en esta lista no aparezco yo. Aparecen, sí, el sultán de Brunei, aparecen también los herederos de Sam Walton y Takichiro Mori. Figuran ahí también personalidades como la Reina Isabel de Inglaterra, Stavros Niarkos, y los mexicanos Carlos Slim y Emilio Azcárraga. Sin embargo a mí no me menciona la revista.

Y yo soy un hombre rico, inmensamente rico. Y si no, vean ustedes: tengo vida, que recibí no sé por qué, y salud, que conservo no sé cómo. Tengo una familia, esposa adorable que al entregarme su vida me dio lo mejor de la mía; hijos maravillosos de quienes no he recibido sino felicidad; nietos con los cuales ejerzo una nueva y gozosa paternidad.

Tengo hermanos que son como mis amigos, y amigos que son como mis hermanos. Tengo gente que me ama con sinceridad a pesar de mis defectos, y a la que yo amo con sinceridad a pesar de mis defectos. Tengo cuatro lectores a los que cada día les doy gracias porque leen bien lo que yo escribo mal.

Tengo una casa, y en ella muchos libros (mi esposa diría que tengo muchos libros, y entre ellos una casa). Poseo un pedacito del mundo en la forma de un huerto que cada año me da manzanas que habrían acortado aún más la presencia de Adán y Eva en el Paraíso. Tengo un perro que no se va a dormir hasta que llego, y que me recibe como si fuera yo el dueño de los cielos y la tierra.

Tengo ojos que ven y oídos que oyen; pies que caminan y manos que acarician; cerebro que piensa cosas que a otros se les habían ocurrido ya, pero que a mí no se me habían ocurrido nunca. Soy dueño de la común herencia de los hombres: alegrías para disfrutarlas y penas para hermanarme a los que sufren».

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